Aging is often framed as an individual journey—one where independence is prized and self-sufficiency is the goal. But what if aging well isn’t about going it alone? What if the keys to a long, fulfilling life—rooted in resilience and deep social bonds—have been quietly modeled by communities often overlooked in mainstream aging narratives?
Black women, across generations, have long contended with the unique challenges of social isolation—not just in their later years but throughout their lives.
At 32, I found myself experiencing extreme social isolation. At the time, I didn’t have a name for it. In 2015, mental health discussions were less common, leaving me feeling alone as I struggled with acute stress, anxiety and even physical illness. Some of the stress was tied to the natural challenges of adulting, but a deeper, more chronic stress was present—one I couldn’t yet articulate. And because I lacked the language for what I was going through, I chose to suffer in silence.
Fortunately, my community—my family, my friends, and my aunties—helped me navigate this difficult period. They saw me, validated my experiences, and reminded me that my relationships are a lifeline, not a luxury. I soon learned, as research now confirms, that Black women, due to our racial and gender identities, often navigate personal and professional spaces where we are underrepresented, underestimated, and, at times, unseen. The pressure of these experiences has profound mental and emotional health impacts. But despite these barriers—or perhaps because of them—I embarked on an essential journey of rediscovering an extraordinary truth: we are strongest in community.
The Hidden Crisis of Social Isolation for Black Women
At the Century V Summit at Stanford University this past January, I shared insights I’ve had since 2021 when I launched my company Hey Auntie! Hey Auntie! is more than a network; we are a “system of culturally sensitive, compassionate care” that connects Black women across ages and life stages to exchange emotional and social support—to rise and thrive over the stress in their daily lives.
At Hey Auntie!, our members build powerful connections, gain tailored insights, and access resources that align with their personal and professional growth. Through peer support, interactive workshops, one-on-one strategic matching, and an exclusive digital community, members design their own journeys, ensuring they receive the culturally sensitive support, strategies, and sisterhood they need to thrive.
‘Black women experience isolation at every stage of life.’
One revelation I often share in discussions on aging and loneliness is how social isolation affects Black women throughout their life course. When I first launched Hey Auntie!, I was surprised when nearly half of the women who joined were older than age 50. Many were excited to be “aunties” to younger generations, but they also revealed something I hadn’t expected—they, too, needed an auntie, who could be someone older or younger, to help them navigate the road ahead.
I learned that Black women experience isolation at every stage of life—whether as young professionals navigating workplaces where they are one of a very few, as caregivers balancing family, career and entrepreneurship with little external support, or as elders who find themselves disconnected from networks that once sustained them.
Additionally, Black women are expected to be the backbone of their families and communities, which means we carry emotional labor that often goes unseen. While this expectation is a testament to resilience, it also contributes to feelings of exhaustion and disconnection. It leaves many of us, myself included, asking: When the world consistently looks to you for strength, where do you turn when you need support?
And the health implications of chronic social isolation are profound. Research shows that Black Americans report higher rates of serious psychological distress than their white counterparts. Black women, in particular, are more likely to experience stress-related health conditions, including hypertension, cardiovascular disease, and depression. According to Johns Hopkins University, despite experiencing higher levels of psychological stress than white women, Black women are half as likely to seek mental health support.
Intergenerational Connection: A Model for Well-Being
When the social-impact competition Well City Challenge launched in Philadelphia in 2021—where I was later named Grand Prize Winner for Hey Auntie!—the Economy League of Greater Philadelphia and insurance company Independence Blue Cross sought innovative community-based solutions to improve health outcomes. I knew this was the perfect opportunity to address the health consequences Black women face due to social isolation.
Research shows that strong social ties improve health outcomes and increase longevity. And I knew in particular that Black women have long cultivated a powerful tool for combating social isolation and improving mental and emotional well-being: intergenerational connection. Across generations, Black women share wisdom, resources and care in ways that sustain not just individuals but entire communities.
Our community’s aunties are synonymous with wisdom, resources and care. The “auntie” has existed in Black communities in the United States for more than 400 years, but her roots and values can be traced back to West Africa. Auntie is more than a title—it’s a relationship of shared care, wisdom and support rooted in the belief that every child is our child. Inspired by the aunties who supported me, I set out to expand this cultural legacy, making care more accessible to women facing similar challenges today.
At Hey Auntie!, we’ve seen firsthand the profound impact of intergenerational relationships. One Gen Z member shared how talking to her Auntie gave her newfound confidence and self-esteem. A Millennial/Gen X member expressed the relief of finding a space where she wasn’t the “only one”—especially as she navigated life in a rural community. And a Baby Boomer member enthusiastically relayed that she has permanently relocated from New York to Panama—something she once considered with great anxiety. In one of our gatherings two years ago, she had been encouraged to follow her dreams of relocating to another country, and so she did. These connections are not just beneficial; they are life-sustaining.
Making Space for All: Connecting Works in Varied Ways
As we think about aging and social connection, I’ve learned that we must also hold space for commonalities and differences in how people experience isolation, and aim to be in community. While everyone who joins Hey Auntie! wants intergenerational connection, I’ve learned that other factors also shape their experience—whether they prefer to talk or to listen, whether they engage digitally or in person, and even how often they participate. Some seasons allow for more time to connect, while others require more space.
‘Auntie is more than a title—it’s a relationship of shared care, wisdom and support rooted in the belief that every child is our child.’
So, while social isolation is a universal challenge, the ways it manifests—and the strategies to address it—are deeply influenced by culture, history, systemic barriers, technology, accessibility and more. Black women’s experiences highlight the need for aging policies, programs and initiatives that are not one-size-fits-all but reflect the diverse realities of the communities we serve.
Aging advocates, policymakers and community leaders have an opportunity to learn from Black women and other historically overlooked communities. How might we build support systems of belonging that are relational rather than transactional? How can we design spaces that foster deep, intergenerational connection while honoring different modes of participation? What policies would ensure that people across generations remain meaningfully engaged in communities that value their wisdom, contributions, and evolving needs?
A New Vision for Aging: Rooted in Community
As we move forward, I will help expand the conversation on aging, reframing it as a time of deepening connection rather than decline. Black women’s intergenerational approach to social and emotional support, modeled in Hey Auntie! offers a roadmap for how we can all age with dignity, joy and deep community ties.
My biological auntie, and the inspiration for Hey Auntie!, Dr. Deborah D. Roebuck, just celebrated her 70th birthday. Ten years ago, she was newly retired, then became a widow when my dear Uncle Ralph passed away, and a year later, was diagnosed with breast cancer. Just as she so lovingly did for me, I walked alongside her and supported her as she navigated these seasons of uncertainty, grief and sadness. But, in those same 10 years, I also had the privilege of witnessing and walking alongside her as she triumphed by earning her doctorate in nursing, becoming a breast cancer survivor, leading her church missions team on trips across different countries, and opening a women’s health and longevity coaching business—helping women “age in style,” as she loves to say.
She and my community of aunties teach me daily that aging is not something to fear but something to embrace with purpose, resilience and gratitude. Their life lessons are clear: Lean into relationships. Honor the wisdom of those who came before. Make space for those coming after. And most importantly, recognize that none of us are meant to navigate aging—or life—alone.
Nicole E. Kenney, MPP, is founder and CEO of Hey Auntie!, in Philadelphia, but Hey Auntie has members across the country and in Africa, Europe and Latin America.
Photo caption: Members and supporters of Hey Auntie! gathering to share and celebrate stories of the life legacies of women—those who paved the way and the ones who are building no—for Women's History Month.
Photo credit: Courtesy of Hey Auntie!
