Caregivers—whether family members, friends or young people—are the invisible backbone of our healthcare system. I know this firsthand, having spent decades immersed in the world of caregiving. We give our time, energy and love, often at the expense of our own well-being. As more people take on caregiving roles due to a growing older adult population and the rise in chronic illnesses, one component becomes critical: Radical Self-Care.
A Crisis of Burnout and Exhaustion
Burnout is an all-too-familiar story for caregivers. Anxiety, depression and emotional exhaustion are common, yet often overlooked realities. According to AARP and the National Alliance for Caregiving, nearly one in five adults in the United States provides unpaid care, and that number is only increasing. I have witnessed young caregivers stepping into roles typically reserved for adults, adding another layer of complexity to an already challenging situation.
I remember speaking with caregivers who felt as if they were unraveling, trapped in cycles of guilt for wanting a moment to themselves. This guilt perpetuates a culture where self-care is viewed as a luxury. That’s why Radical Self-Care isn’t optional—it’s a survival strategy.
What Is Radical Self-Care?
Radical Self-Care goes far beyond the occasional bubble bath or spa day. It’s about making an unwavering, daily commitment to your own well-being. It means learning to say “no” without guilt and prioritizing your needs alongside those of the person you’re caring for. I tell caregivers, “This isn’t selfish—it’s essential.” Shifting your mindset to view self-care as non-negotiable can be transformative.
The Ripple Effect of Self-Care
When I began integrating Radical Self-Care into my daily routine, I noticed an incredible shift, not just in myself but in the care I provided. Studies affirm this: supported caregivers are healthier and more resilient, which allows them to provide better care over time. Radical Self-Care promotes emotional regulation—an invaluable asset for handling the challenges and frustrations that come with caregiving. This is especially true for young caregivers balancing school, friendships and caregiving responsibilities.
The Barriers to Self-Care
Yet, the path to self-care isn’t always straightforward. Financial constraints, lack of respite care, and cultural expectations can make it difficult to prioritize oneself. Caregivers often become so deeply embedded in their roles that stepping away feels impossible. I’ve heard caregivers say, “The system isn’t designed for us to take a break,” and they’re right. The structural barriers are significant.
‘I want caregivers to survive their journey and outlive those they care for.’
For youth caregivers, the challenges are even greater. Many don’t identify as caregivers and struggle in silence without the support or academic accommodations they need. I’ve worked with young people who told me they felt “invisible,” hidden within their own families. Due to cultural norms in that family, the expectation is that they are to simply do what's needed, making “the family” the priority while often the needs, wants and desires of the young caregiver are negated.
Practical Steps Toward Radical Self-Care
Radical Self-Care doesn’t require dramatic gestures. It begins with small, deliberate actions:
- Use color-coded calendars to visualize your time and ensure personal time is blocked out.
- Join peer support groups to find a sense of community and lessen feelings of isolation.
- Conduct daily check-ins to assess your mental and physical health.
Local organizations and nonprofits can play a pivotal role by offering accessible respite programs, mental health services, and peer networks tailored for caregivers. We also need policies that support caregivers with financial aid and workplace flexibility to make self-care more achievable.
A Call to Action
Radical Self-Care is at the heart of my Caregiver’s Gumbo Series, including Tears In My Gumbo and Prayers In My Gumbo, where I explore the Five Steps of Conscious Caregiving. These steps are more than just concepts; they are lifelines designed to empower caregivers to care for their loved ones without sacrificing themselves.
My mission is deeply personal: I want caregivers to survive their journey and outlive those they care for. Too many caregivers lose their health, peace and sometimes their lives in the process of caregiving. I don’t want that to happen. We must create sustainable caregiving models where Radical Self-Care becomes a foundational practice.
As I tell caregivers every day, “We cannot afford to lose you to burnout. Radical Self-Care isn’t just for you—it’s for the survival of caregiving as a whole.” Let’s make sure that every caregiver feels empowered to put their well-being first, and let’s build a system that supports that choice.
Nadine Roberts Cornish, CSA, is a gerontologist, author, chief care strategist, and founder of The Caregiver's Guardian, LLC, and the nonprofit Colorado Alliance for Caregiving Youth (CACY).
